Im here now

Just thinking
I woke up at 7am this morning and have been laying on my futon doing almost nothing since then. Yesterday I woke up at 7:30am. As i walked in my door this morning after sleeping at the basement an image of the past came to me. There was a time when i woke up at these terrible early hours all week and then slept all day on the weekends. This struck me as uninteresting and it should have passed from memory but for some reason i'm recalling it here. That was the first of the two complete thoughts I had this morning. All else was fragmented musings and bits of thought stored to be recalled later or lost in the dark damp dungeons of my brain. The other thought formed while i was in the shower. I was mulling over the lyrics to Extra Medium when i found myself thinking that i will never do anything monumental, i probably won't be remembered after my friends are gone, and i have no legacy that i want to leave in the way of children or otherwise. It wasn't depressing to me and i want no words of consolation or encouragement. Last week i was joking about my friends and i being the next great writers but im not sure how much i was actually joking. In the dungeons kobolds were gathering ideas for me to put forth for the general public to do what they will with and i seriously considered the possibilty. I think i would like to be a great writer but at the same time i do not have the will or motivation to do anything truly great. I am the uninspired youth i guess. I think that i would be completely happy living out the rest of my days as a hobbit. Growing my own food and living off the land appeals to me so much but i won't do it. My mom jests that i'd miss technology too much but it's not that at all. I rarely play any video games anymore and i never watch tv. The time i waste on my compter is spent checking geekologie, reading wikipedia articles, and checking facebook. The only thing i really spend a lot of time doing that involves technology is watching bad horror movies and i sleep through the last half of most of those. I sleep a lot or not at all lately. I would miss my friends far more than i would miss technology. I truly wish i were a hobbit. I truly wish we were back in the south. I think only jim really knows how much i want to go back to the south. Not the south per se but to the time i spent this summer with my friends in the south. After reading my friend's blogs i feel like my writing skills are only slightly above par for people my age and i just feel like im better because people my age don't write much at all. I don't often think im better than others and i question all i do constantly but i also do a lot of things before questioning them. I live my life by choices. There is nothing that anyone "has" to do. As far as writing goes I consider myself a big fish in little Middlesex Community College but the reality of true talent in the real world is very evident through the words of my friends. I surround myself with intelligent people and hope some of it rubs off on me. I love my friends and they make life worth living.

Bummdoggin a bit right now but gonna go hang with my friends and obliterate all that right quick. I won't always write depressing shit :)